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Dear Joy Naomi,
I’m going on a first date tomorrow,
the thing is...she’s a city girl and I
have no clue what to do to impress
her..help??
Sincerely,
Thank God Imma Country Boy
Dear Country Boy,
That’s easy! All you need to
do is just pull out all the stops
and go for it! First off we’ll
start with appearance. Now,
I fully believe that looks ain’t
everything and nobody should
get judged on their looks.
However, there are certain
times when looking your best
is a good thing. This is one
of those times. That being
said, make sure you bathe. I
don’t care if it ain’t your bath
day yet or not, this is a special
occasion.
And please, do NOT use this
time to double up and wash
your pig Annie Mae...save
that for when you ain’t going
on a date!
Next dress in your Sunday
best.
This inludes the jeans that
don’t have many holes in them
and that nice gingham shirt
granny gave you last Christmas,
and yes, now would be the time
to show off that brand new,
shiney belt buckle you been
saving. When you comb your
hair, make sure to spread the
sparce folicles evenly as to hide
the lack of hair growth and the
fact that Hair Club For Men
didn’t work for you.
As far as what to do for the
date take her to the new Sizzler
out on hwy 109, it is after all,
the most fanciest place around!
Make sure to pull her chair out
BEFORE she sits down, cousin
Earl done forgot that one time
and pulled the chair out from
under Aunt Fanny as she was
sitting..it didn’t end well.
Now just sit back, relax and
enjoy dinner..but for the love
of God..don’t start talking
about cousin Bubba’s
taxadermy business...at least
save that for the second date!!
Hope this helps!!
Good Luck,
Joy Naomi
Romance
Y
Tips!
Livestock is usually a poor choice
for a wedding gift.
Be assertive, let her know you’re
interestedl “I’ve been wanting to
go out with you ever since I read
that stuff on the bathroom walls
two years ago!”
Always offer to bait your date’s
hook. Especially on the first date!
Use of proper toiltetries can only
delay bathing for two days max.
Even if you live alone, deodorant
is NOT a waste of money.
A centerpiece for a table should
never be anything prepared by a
taxidermist, I don’t care how nice
he made your pet racoon look!
When decanting the wine from
the box, make sure you tilt the
paper cup and pur slowly so as
not the “bruise” the fruit of the
wine.
Even if you are sure that Granny
left you somethin in her will, it
is rude to drive a U-haul to the
funeral...at least wait and drive it
to her house after it.
Always identify people in your
yard before shooting them.
Remember: guns don’t kill people.
Morons with a lazy left eye do.
**Disclaimer** None of this advice is meant
to be taken seriously, nor is it intended to
offend anyone or make anyone mad. It’s
simply for entertainment purposes only!
Ask Joy!
Send in your own questions for the next issue!
They can be about RP, in or out of character!