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Then… black.
Mostly it was a mix of Game
of Thrones and Twilight with
people from all different walks
of life. Men in tunics tugged
girls in nothing like they were
dogs on a chain. Men and
women that looked like they
could tear the world apart
with a look drank and joked
with.. clergymen? It was like
nothing Lily had ever seen.
It was all so surreal that she
spent most of the first night
being volleyed from one horde
to the next trying to keep up
with Darius. It was when she
accidentally stumbled onto the
feet of a man so massive she
could have fit both feet in one
boot (and he forcibly offered to
allow her to lie beneath them)
that she eventually lost Darius
completely. Lily ended up
racing far enough away from
the laughing bastard - and
far away from Darius and the
others too - and hiding in one
of the skiffs tethered to the
docks for that first night.
The real fun came the next
morning when Darius found
her and the pirates found them.
Oh, the explosions. Who knew
that cannon fodder could be
so glorious? Darius nearly
drug her down the gangplank
where he commandeered the
Mayflower (well, it looked like
those photos of the Mayflower
anyway) and they got off a few
shots of their own. Lily even
clambered up the mastpole!
Granted communication with
Darius was never quite certain
and it caused them to have a
near miss with the Karians - but
they pulled through by the
seat of their pants only to race
into..
..a totally other dimension.
One minute they were running
down the plank and the next
they’re racing through a dusty
ghost town being accosted
by Elmer Fudd meets Hershel
on The Walking Dead. The
desperation in that old man
is something Lily will never
forget - that and his stench.
They must not bathe in post-
Apocalyptic Arizona. Darius
and Lily set out on a scavenger
hunt to save Hershel and his
people with nothing but a
double-barrel shotgun and two
slugs. Of course this post-
Apocalyptic scenario involved..
zombies. Mindless, slipshod,
flesh half-eaten, rotting..
zombies. There is nothing
on this planet (or any other
planet) that she hates worse
than zombies - even though
she knows they are completely
fictitious. Just.. no. What could
she do? Darius was dragging
her along the road on a march
toward an old farmhouse and
zombies were nowhere in
sight. They ended up raiding
the house for supplies Hershel
and his people may be able
to use. Well, Darius did. Lily
had the bright idea to change
out of her baggy boy-clothes
into something less able to
get ahold of - including her
hair. She took a kitchen knife
and cut her long locks off at
the roots. It was on the way
back to Hershel’s compound
that she got her first horrifying
glimpse of zombies. One good
thing about zombies? They
can’t really run that fast! Just
like before.. they ran straight…
back to Gor.
Only this time when Lily came
racing back down the docks
Darius was nowhere to be
found. She had to push her
way through crushes of bodies
to find him, and when she
finally did he sold her to the
wolves! (Really it was just the
Goreans in charge of the dance
competition.) Apparently,
Darius thought throwing Lily
onto the stage to dance might
be hilarious; and, to be fair,
it likely was for most of the
crowd. Not so much for Lily.
She was trapped with fierce
looking men bawking foreign
languages at her. When Lily
gets threatened she gets a
chip on her shoulder… held
up by a great big helping of
self-afflicted invincibility. They
wanted her to dance… so she
danced. Lily did the running
man. She did the macarena.
She did the harlem shake!
The drummer was amazing…
the collaboration with the
audience? Not so much. One
minute Lily was trying to pull
a girl from the audience on
stage to dance with her and
the next they were trying to kill
her! Even now she would be
minced lambchop if not for the
interference of others.
Never had Lily been so happy
to awake to a horse’s ass
(literally) than she had the next
morning. She walked out of
the stables into yet another
dimension - this time it into
a Disney fairytale. She met a
ReVo Magazine
Lily’s Adventures in Gor | By Ali